I am eating breakfast and pondering life. I have not written for some time and I am thinking it over. I’m clear about the reasons that I write this blog, not for marketing or to “get clients” but really because I need to. Sometimes there are sentences that simply have to come out. It’s a cathartic process and enables me to make sense of things. Clients often come to me from something I have written and although this isn’t the purpose it feels good when my writing resonates. It feels good for them to get a sense of who I am and also I suppose, who I am not.
So I am curious to why I have not written for a while and I want to stop to think. I’m reflecting on a conversation with my client late last week. She is a writer and a smart and insightful woman. She spoke to me about writing for herself, to tell her own great story, how she can’t worry about what other writers are writing because if she writes authentically and as herself then her readers will find her. This lands with me and something shifts in my mind.
I take out my laptop and I start writing and it all begins to make sense. I am working with some truly great people at the moment who inspire me and challenge me in so many ways. Some of them are writers, great writers, a bafta award winning writer, a bestselling author and a blogger with a huge following. It dawns on me that somewhere in my subconscious this has impacted on my own writing. There’s a clarity now that a concern has been brewing, that I am not good enough, not good enough to make my own words public.
As I write I remember again the conversation with my client and think more about the idea of comparison. Comparing ourselves can restrict us, it can throw us off our path and stop us from being true to ourselves. And I already know the damage that occurs from not being true to myself. Writing for me, as authentically as I can, nurtures my soul. I know this to be true. And so I keep writing. And the thoughts keep coming. I wonder where else am I making comparisons that stop me from being me and I take the time to ponder that some more.